Archive for: February, 2010

You Deserve It

Feb 22 2010 Published by under Motivation, Success

Do you know someone who rarely buys anything for themselves? Do they feel substantial guilt when they actually do buy something? Are they miserly towards themselves, but overly generous towards others? Is that person you?

The guilt trips we impose on ourselves can be devastating as it prevents us from enjoying our lives. We want something but talk ourselves out of getting it for a myriad of reasons. The guilt is brought on by years of indoctrination by parents, family, friends, church, bosses, teachers, the media and others. Well, it’s time to stop feeling guilty and enjoy your life!

Look, why do we work? To earn money. Why do we earn money? To buy things. Why do we buy things? So we can have what we need to live, to provide for our families, and to enjoy life. So why is it hard for some people to buy things for themselves without feeling ashamed?

It’s hard for me to answer that since I don’t have that issue. I work smart, sometimes hard, to earn a good living. I feel I deserve to buy things I want, knowing full well I can afford it. I indulge in fine cigars, scotch, wine,  gourmet food, and now, clothing. Okay, that’s the one area where I always skimped. I always bought cheap clothes. It wasn’t guilt. I could just never logically justify spending a lot of money on clothes. Well, that changed last year when I bought my first pair of Tommy Bahama shorts fo $80. I would never spend $80 on a pair of shorts before, but these short felt fantastic and were of very high quality. I could easily afford it now so I bought them. No guilt. They are my favorite pair of shorts. That, along with my $60 Tommy Bahama t-shirt and that’s my favorite outfit. The fit, comfort and quality are outstanding. Just last week I spent $80 on a pair of Ecco sandals at The Walking Company. $80 for sandals? Am I crazy? No way! These are the most comfortable sandals I’ve ever worn. They have fantastic arch support and feel superb on my feet. I wear them all the time and I know they will last for a very long time. I have no guilt in buying them. I now justify the expenditure knowing that I am buying high-quality, great fitting clothes and shoes that will last me years.

What I’m saying to you is, buy the best you can afford and don’t feel guilty about it. Your quality of life will improve dramatically. I am not advocating reckless spending, nor should you go into debt to buy something. Only buy when you know you can afford it and it won’t damage your budget. It may mean saving a bit more to buy what you want, and those with families will have to save longer, but it will be worth it. Don’t buy cheap things because that’s all you can afford. It won’t last long and you’ll have to buy it all over again. I made that mistake for years buying cheap shoes.

Of course, you should buy when it’s on sale. Just because it’s expensive doesn’t mean you should always pay retail. There’s always a deal somewhere. I almost always buy my cigars, scotch and wine at a discount.

Here’s something for you to try. Find something you really want. Something more expensive than you would normally consider. If you don’t have the money for it now, save up for it. Do not go into debt, please!! When you have the money, go out and buy it. See how you feel. Don’t feel guilty. Don’t let anyone else make you feel guilty. Enjoy purchasing it. Enjoy using it. Maybe it’s an expensive dinner at a wonderful restaurant with your wife. Whatever it is, savor the experience! Then save up an do it again. Over time, you’ll get used to it and expect the finer things in life, knowing full well you can afford it, enjoy it, and never feel guilty about. You deserve it.

I’ll repeat. You deserve it. You deserve to live the best life you possibly can. Don’t let guilt hold you back. Grab life by the horns and enjoy every moment!!

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Action is Everything

Feb 20 2010 Published by under Goals, Motivation, Success

The core of many get-rich-quick and lose-weight-quick programs is the notion that you can achieve riches or lose weight without doing anything. The money just flows to you. The pounds melt away. You can sit on the couch, watch TV and be rich and thin! We fall for it all the time, yet we know that it can’t possibly be true.

We know instinctively that it takes action to accomplish anything. Opportunities literally fall in your lap, but you have to take action on that opportunity, lest it be frittered away. It’s the failure to take action, that we fail to achieve our goals and dreams.

If you read most of the self-help books and listen to the programs, there’s almost always a mention of action, even if the sales copy says you can earn riches by doing nothing. Buried in the text, there’s the action steps you have to take to become successful. Yes, you have to work at it. Yes, it will take time. Yes, there are risks. But without risk, there can be no success.

What is your fear? What is holding you back from taking that next action? Are you just plain lazy? If you are lazy, think as to why you are lazy? Is it a fear of getting out of your comfort zone? Is it a lack of motivation? If you want to be successful, then motivation is not the issue.

Conquer your fears and take action. That next action doesn’t have to be a huge step. It can be something as simple as an email or phone call. It’s a stepping stone to the next, larger action, until you achieve your goal.

If you want something bad enough, start taking action now. Don’t wait and don’t think it will come to you out of thin air. Take action to make it happen.

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Breaking Habits

Feb 16 2010 Published by under Goals, Motivation

Habits are thoughts ingrained in our subconscious over the years that act like an autopilot. Most of our waking lives are habitual. From the moment we get up to the moment we fall asleep, we are in some form of habit. This isn’t a bad thing. Without habit, out lives would be pretty chaotic. However, every one of us has a habit, or two, that we would like to get rid of and replace with another.

There is no such thing as a bad habit. The only bad habit is the one you want to replace. So how do you change a habit? A habit originated with a thought, that became a belief, that became a habitual physical and mental action. All you need to do is change your thought. A habit requires no thought. By thinking a new thought for that new habit, you begin attracting that thought into existence. That thought leads to new action, which becomes the new habit you desire.

You don’t need any fancy technique to force yourself to adopt a new habit. You either want to change or you don’t. Your desire will determine the strength of your thought, which will lead to action. If you “fall off the wagon,” you can only blame yourself and will need to refocus your thoughts.

I had a habit of eating too much. I would super-size my meal, or go back for seconds. The result: weight gain! Duh! I knew I had to reduce my portions. In addition I went on an Atkins-style low-carb diet. I knew the carbs were causing me to gain weight and I always felt very bloated and tired after eating them. In order to change my habit, I began consciously thinking about reducing my portions and only eating high-protein, low-carb foods. I would visualize only eating two eggs instead of four. One slice of steak and a salad instead of two. No dessert, no rice or potatoes. By consciously giving focused thought to the new habit I wanted, I began to take action. Each day, as I ate less and only low-car foods, the less I had to think about it, until it became a new habit. Sure there were days were I fell off the wagon, but I got right back on the very next day. The guilt trip you give yourself is enough to jump right back on!

Use whatever reminders you want to remind yourself to engage in the new habit. For example, if you want to take vitamins everyday, set the bottle out on the counter so you can see it every morning. If you want to exercise in the morning, visualize yourself getting up a half-hour earlier and going for a brisk walk. Set the alarm a half-hour earlier, set out your walking shoes and sweats and get walking! Over time you’ll automatically get up a half-hour earlier for your walk. It will be a habit for you.

Remember a habit begins with a thought. Change your thought, change your habit!

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Seize All Opportunities

Feb 11 2010 Published by under Goals, Motivation, Success

Yes, the post title is a cliche. Yes, it’s another post about seizing the moment and never letting an opportunity pass you by. Why am I writing about it? Because I think it’s vitally important. Too many of us bitch and moan about our lives while letting countless life-changing opportunities pass us by. We settle for our lot in life rather than seizing what we really want. We make excuses for letting opportunities fade away. We shut the door on opportunities and then tell ourselves it’s all okay. No it’s not okay!

Life is full of opportunities. You attract them into your life every day. You attract your dominant thoughts, good or bad. You’ll see those opportunities present themselves seemingly out of thin air. It’s up to you to grab them. Can it be risky? You bet! But you won’t really know how risky it is until you try. It could be risk free. But how would you know if you ignored it?

Just think of the opportunities that await you. Your true love. Your dream job. Your dream career or business. Your dream house, car, vacation. Everything you desire is an opportunity waiting for you. Are you going to sit around and bitch and moan, or are you going to seize every opportunity and live the life of your dreams?

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The Bane of Up-Selling

Feb 06 2010 Published by under Motivation, Success

News broke out on Wednesday, February 3, 2010 on the arrest of James Arthur Ray for three counts of manslaughter stemming from the October 2009 incident at Ray’s Spiritual Warrior retreat in Sedona, Arizona. Three people died during an intense 2-hour sweat lodge. This is like being in a sauna for two hours but in a more claustrophobic setting.

James Arthur Ray is the author of “Harmonic Wealth” and has appeared in the movie, The Secret. His Spiritual Warrior retreats cost upwards of $10,000 per person. My response to this matter is not on the criminal aspects or whether or not Ray is a fraud. That is up to the jury to decide. My response is on the self-help business model of up-selling.

Nearly every single self-help guru up-sells. It’s the business model of the industry. It usually starts with a book. The book purports to give you the secret of success. At the end of the book, there’s the first up-sell: learn even more secrets with the audio program. The up-sell continues with the DVD home study course. Then, if you really want to learn the “real” secret of success, you need to attend the seminars and retreats. So, from a book that costs $25, you can end up paying thousands of dollars to learn all of these secrets. Now there’s a trend to provide “coaching” services. I’ve posted my thoughts on coaching earlier. For a yearly or monthly fee, plus an initiation fee, you can have one of the guru’s associates–never the guru himself–act as a coach to help you achieve your goals. It’s just another up-sell.

It’s obvious the bottom line of the up-sell is to increase revenue. They can’t make enough money alone on book sales and speeches to have the lifestyle they sell you on. A big reason people spend thousands of dollars on these guys and gals is they want to the live the life of the guru. They want the big houses, fast cars, exotic vacations and all the trappings of wealth. If the guru isn’t living that lifestyle, then his customers will question his teachings. Image is everything in the self-help industry. A prime example of this is James Arthur Ray’s supposed difficulty in securing $500,000 cash to post bond after his arrest. If he is as rich as he claims, shouldn’t he be able to access $500K in cash? This also shows the propensity of many “wealthy” people to be asset rich and cash poor. For me, cash is always king.

I’m not totally condoning the up-sell, but it always has the slight stench of distrust. If you hold back what you know in your book because you want to sell me something more expensive, why should I trust you in the first place? Look, I don’t mind you selling me products that focus on a specific topic, i.e., finance, health, etc., but don’t tease me with a book that supposedly gives me the secrets of success, but not every secret you know. For that I’ll have to fork over some serious cash. It’s disingenuous and makes people skeptical of you.

Since I write about success, productivity, health and well-being, I run the risk of falling into this category. Let me reassure you that I do not up-sell. I write what I know and what works for me personally. I want to share what I know with you, dear reader. My upcoming book is everything I know and use personally to lead a happy life. I don’t need to up-sell you anything else. You can read my blog and my book and take with it what you want. There are no other secrets. It’s entirely up to you to become the success you want to be! And that is the real key! No amount of reading, listening or watching will make you a success until you get off your ass and take action. There really is no secret, it’s the best marketing ploy around. If you really want to be successful and live the life you dream of, you’ll do whatever it takes to get there. You don’t need a guru’s 3-day seminar at a cost of $4995 to be a success.

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Magnetic Abundance 1st Draft Finished

Feb 05 2010 Published by under Success

I’ve finished the first draft of my new book, Magnetic Abundance. Now it’s on to the laborious, but necessary task of editing it into final form. That involves deleting large chunks of redundant material, rewriting poorly written passages, fact-checking references and putting a structure together out of pages of free-form writing.

I’ll be publishing the book as a downloadable, unprotected PDF file for a reasonable price of $4.95. I find the cost of e-books to high for what I’m getting. If I can get a softcover book for the same price as a download, I would rather buy the physical book. The download should cost significantly less as there is no manufacturing costs involved. I’m paying purely for the content.

Let the editing begin!!

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